At the time I created my web site, I was looking for that one special person that would read something on my site or in my books or articles and become inspired. I was thinking it would move them forward to write or do something really great that would raise peoples consciousness and bring awareness into their lives. It was and still is my hope that I will inspire someone to do great things. Often I do things with hopes that it will change the world for the better. I have had the thought that people would read my articles and become motivated to do something with their lives and we would all have a sudden shift in right consciousness. I have had many good responses to my site and the articles as can be evidenced in my guest book and letters that I have received. It has been very gratifying to say the least. My site has attracted many visitors. Some would say that I am successful, and I have accomplished what I set out to do and that was to touch the lives of many people. I am still waiting for that one special person. I have been looking for him/her in my emails and in my guest book and all around me. I have been searching everywhere, out there. The truth is, that person is much closer than I may now realize. I have said many times, that I write for myself first, it gives me the opportunity to express in words, what I know intuitively . And by doing so, I achieve awareness and enlightenment. That one special person is myself. The one I have been waiting for is typing this article. He has been there through all of the articles. He is always visiting my site and supporting it. From the position of the silent observer, I can seen where he has come from and where he is now. And it has been truly, an amazing ride. Still, there is much before me. I still want to inspire this "one," to do amazing things. I am not at the point yet, where my ego is satisfied that it is me that will do it. I keep looking outward for another. I think, I really want it to be someone else. Although my interest in the site is on and off, I will keep the site maintained and updated while I believe others are still benefiting. September has been a disastrous month for visitors. I have not radically changed anything, and I know the writing is getting better. So where did all the visitors go? Have I found that person? Is it now time to move onto something bigger and better? How do I measure that? I know that it will come to me as a revelation, it always does and I am still waiting. I love the writing, I know that it will continue. If I am not drawing the numbers to me, than does that mean that I dont need to anymore? Is my work done? I am wrestling with these thoughts lately. I know other spiritual writers and webmasters, that have come this far, are also questioning what they are doing. We are ready for the next step, and it is the momentum of working on our sites for so long that is keeping us going. When one has a need or desire to help others, one draws people who need help, to them. When one has a need or desire to give, then one draws people to them that are in need of receiving. When one has a need to write, teach and inform, then one draws people to them that are in need of being informed. It is the way of the universe to make these things happen. When the student is ready, the teacher will come. When the need disappears, then the needy no longer come. Have I gone full circle? Have I found that one special person? Have I prepared him for the next step? Are there others, or is it that I have been doing this all for me? Is it only me that has gone full circle. When one moves to the next step, only then can he/she look back at the last one. Every step is followed by another and it continuous. In truth, there is only one consciousness, one soul that is individualized in countless manifestations of itself. So, it is "I" that does things for self. "I," "I am," doing all this for self, there is no other. I have been here before and will return many times. Once again, I am chasing my tail. There is nowhere to come from and nowhere to go. I look at you and "I" see "I." You, the reader are also the writer. We are the same. There is only one of us. "I am," writing for the one that reads and the one that writes. Know always that your are doing for self, no one else. They do not exist. Wherever it is that you think you are going, you can not get there. I look around me and see myself in various stages of getting there. If there was a life's lesson, it would be that it is the trip that counts, not getting anywhere. |
